To Love Well

To Love Well

Do you know someone who loves much? Someone who loves well?

What do you attribute their love to? What’s the root of their love?

I’ve been pondering these questions myself and this is what I’ve come up with. See if you agree and, please, share your perspective.

First I should ask, what is it to love well?

Personally, I’ve come to understand love as sacrificial; as having no ulterior motive, no ambition beyond giving.

To love well is challenging. Even as I aim to selflessly love my children, I sometimes find an ulterior motive. I find myself thinking of the years ahead, hoping that today’s seeds of affirmation and affection blossom into an abiding love relationship.

But, what if they don’t? Isn’t that the greater test of love? If love is unconditional and sacrificial, then it ought to persist irrespective of how it’s received. Love is relentless by nature, after all, and not by any outside condition.

Now back to my earlier question, What’s the root of the love of those who love well?

I submit to you that it has a lot to do with a right appraisal of self and, even more importantly, a proper understanding of Destiny’s high estimation of them. They know their value. If challenged, they can provide evidence of Destiny’s great affection for them. They know they’re favored by Heaven and, as a result, can see the permeation of divine favor throughout their life.

Can you? Can you see the favor of Heaven in your life and circumstances?

Those who know they are loved, love. Those who know they are loved much, love much.

This then begs the question, is it possible to be well loved and not love well? Absolutely, yes! Do you know why?

The distinction is not that one is loved. The distinction is that they know they are loved. Those who know they are loved, love. Those who know they are loved much, love much.

Have you ever noticed how someone who loves well carries an uncommon level of inner peace? It’s like they just know that things will work out, everything will be okay.

Someone who loves well can wade through a sea of bills and challenging circumstances without growing weary or losing hope. Their security rests somewhere beyond the fluctuation of circumstances. Their rest and security lies in knowing that their Creator is for them and delights in every component of their being.

Worry and fear are fleeting. They surface only to be vanquished by the light and surety of Love within.

Someone who loves well; someone who loves sacrificially, someone who loves without ulterior motive carries no guilt. The tide of freedom and liberty run so deep within their being that, again, they rest well. They’re at peace with Destiny  and, as a result, carry no shame.

How can this be? Simple, they recognize the purifying presence of Destiny in their life.

Destiny doesn’t demand our perfection. Destiny simply asks that we accept the perfection of heaven to act on our behalf. When you love well, you’re letting Destiny love through you. When you speak with wisdom, you’re allowing Destiny to speak through you. When you perceive substance through distraction, you’re seeing with the eyes of Heaven.

Someone who loves much, someone who loves well is simply someone who allows Heaven to love for them, absolving them of an unreasonable expectation of their humanity.

Do you know that you are well loved?

Can you see the favor of Heaven in your life?

Have you accepted that Heaven only sees you in your perfection, as your true, unadulterated self?

As today unfolds, watch for five indicators that you are significant to the eye of Heaven and that you are well loved by your Creator.

5 Ways To Cultivate Peace And Love Through Words

5 Ways To Cultivate Peace And Love Through Words

Have you ever pondered the relentless strength of the tongue? It is a small part of the body yet it carries great power!

We use our tongue to praise Destiny and, in another breath, curse Destiny’s design. We pour praise and contempt from the same mouth.

How can this be?

What change might we affect with a transformation of our speech?

Let’s transform our corner of the world with the love seed of our words.

If you’d like to see a shift happen in your business, with your coworkers, in your personal relationships, or even more broadly within your culture then follow these 5 steps. You have the power and influence to transform unhealthy, destructive, stifling, and caustic environments.

The first step to bringing peace into any negative situation is to refuse to participate in any negative conversation about someone else unless you can be part of the solution to the problem.

How often has it happened to you that a coworker, friend, or family member approaches you with something akin to: ”Have you heard the latest about Sally? Did you know that she left him; her son is on meth; her daughter is pregnant; he lost his job; she cheated on him; she was fired; they lost their home; he lost custody of his children”, etc., etc., etc.? Once those negative thoughts get planted in your mind, they will color absolutely everything else you hear about that individual and their situation.

Instead, learn deflection questions. Deflect the negativity with an innocuous and distracting question, “What did you eat for breakfast today?” “Did you ever get around to watching that movie?” “How’s the renovation progressing?” Throw the bearer-of-bad-news off with a distracting question.

Secondly, if you hear something negative about someone you love then check in with them. Allow yourself the opportunity to discern the truth of the situation firsthand rather than working from someone else’s input and point of view.

Ask questions of love and concern, free of accusation and suspicion. “Is there anything I need to know?” “Is there anything you need right now?”

Thirdly, if you hear something that haunts you don’t assume that it’s the full truth. This can be something in your immediate family or circle of friends. It can also be something cultural, something in the media.

Exercise the higher energy of listening and sharing love. We don’t need to know the details of what’s happening. It feels better to love than to know the private details of someone else’s life or pitfall.

Fourthly, refuse to judge information about someone at face value. This pertains to those within close proximity to you. Whatever you hear, remember there’s two sides to every story.

There’s no such thing as a one-sided story, not in real life.

If you hear something negative about someone, the human tendency is to shut off (to some extent) to that person. Remember, negative news is not to be taken at full value.

If something negative is spoken to you before you can deflect, quickly speak 4-5 positive thoughts aloud concerning that individual in order to discourage your mind from harboring unsubstantiated negativity towards that individual. This will allow you to remain in a state of peace and love towards that person.

Finally, if you need to confront someone, don’t tell anyone else. If you process your heart with people about negative information about someone else, especially if you’re going through a divorce or a business separation, they will take what you say at full value. This might feel good in the heat of the moment, but when the emotion, hurt, or betrayal dissipates you will be left with a network of friends who can only support you in making a decision that’s based on your emotional state rather than a state of clarity, stability, and groundedness.

For this reason, its good to have 2-3 close friends or processors that serve to talk things through with you. If you have this small, consistent group of processors they will come to know you well enough to be able to discern your moodiness, emotionalism, hurt, and anger so that they can provide trustworthy input rather than a mirroring of your own emotions. Your processors will come to know your tendencies and hear you and love you appropriately for where you are in that moment.

If we prove trustworthy with people’s reputations in our mouth and we start to love them and care about who they are, we will gain influence in places that we could have never otherwise gained entrance. This principle extends to every circle of our respective cultures.

Before you even have need of them, pick 2-3 people that you’re going to do life with over the next five years. Even if they’re not going to be around for the next five years, pick them as if they are. These people will be your processors.

Over the course of the next 7 days, watch your mouth. Every night, rehearse the conversations you had that day. This isn’t a time to beat yourself up or wallow in regret. It’s meant to be a simple exercise for improvement, not debasement. Simply ask yourself, “What could I have done differently? What could I have said better? How could I have honored them more? What could have built that relationship more? When I was talking about her, did I do it well? When I shared that story, was I honoring?”

If you’re looking to make a lasting change, rehearse each day’s speech at the close of the day for the next 30 days. Let’s discipline ourselves to make every decision out of peace and love.

We can start to do this by asking a simple question: Where was peace and love in that moment?

By our very nature, we are change agents, equipped to affect history and humanity. Let’s leave a legacy of peace and love.

How will you consciously invite peace and love into your speech today?



The content of this post was unplanned. It was inspired by a perusal of my Facebook page.

Someone’s inquiry into ’empathy’ prompted a memory. Within the memory resides an invaluable lesson. Hopefully you’ll agree.

At the age of 18, I was adopted into a very privileged family. Though I loved all my siblings (they’re biological) I often felt jealous that they’d never have “real life” so brutally imposed upon them the way that I had.

I sort of poo-pooed their naïveté and esteemed my “experience” and “exposure”, believing that it somehow afforded me greater wisdom, perspective, and empathy.

But then my 4 year old sister taught me a lesson.

Once while sharing matter-of-factly of a childhood experience, I caught a glimpse of my sister in the rear view mirror. She was sobbing, without sound, taking in a visceral experience of the things that I shared.

My heart dropped. I realized that she was fully identifying with my little girl experiences. Her heart was broken for me. I understood then that I had violated her innocence.

She didn’t need to know (at that age) the things that I had known at her age.

From this I learned that there’s no need to experience the tragedy in order to identify with the victims of it.

Irrespective of your background, you possess a treasury of blessing to offer. Don’t discount your privilege or make apologies for it. Likewise, don’t esteem your adversity as though it single-handedly fashioned your character.

Within each of us resides a Divinely appointed capacity to bless and enrich the lives of those around us. When we live authentically, we live from this place of gifting and all that’s within effortlessly bleeds forth.

So, the moral of this story is… Live authentically and the whole world benefits.

How To Get The Bank Of Heaven To Finance Your Dream

How To Get The Bank Of Heaven To Finance Your Dream

Are you a planner? Do you know what you’re having for dinner tonight? Do you know where you’re spending next Christmas?

If you are a planner, congratulations! You’ve taken control of your future.

For those of you who don’t consider yourselves planners, fear not! You can learn.

If you see no value in planning, answer me this: Who’s going to control the next 12 months of your life? Truthfully, the only way to answer that question is with a plan.

What are your goals? What do you want for tomorrow? Next week? What do you hope to see in your life before the close of this year?

The best way to predict your future is to invent it. You can invent the future you want to see with a plan. Plan to become what you want to become. Plan to become what you already see on the inside.

Planning helps you to fulfill the vision and mission of your life; the vision and mission you long to see made manifest.

Your vision and mission didn’t originate with you. They’re products of Destiny’s design. That means Destiny has a vested interest in your future.

When you make a plan, Destiny will always exceed that plan. But if there’s no plan, Destiny has nothing to exceed.

Never doubt the power of Heaven to work in you to accomplish all you see within. In fact, Destiny will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! They will all be outdone!

Did you catch that? Destiny is able to do exceeding, abundantly, above, far beyond all you can ask, think, or imagine. You have a three-part responsibility to ask, think, and imagine. Destiny assumes responsibility for the how.

If you have a longing to see something  particular in your future, then you already have a plan. Your plan is that vision already in your mind.

Destiny’s responsibility covers how the plan will be executed and financed. Your responsibility is simply to ask, think, and imagine.

Are you thinking, “This is too simple. It’s too good to be true.”? If so, you’re not alone. That’s the problem of many. They think the vision originated with them. Because their vision is their ideal, they assume it must be a futile figment of imagination. This is unfortunate because the mark of a plan from Heaven is that it seems impossible, too big, too extraordinary, too good to be true.

Your vision was designed to be big beyond your resources for only then will Destiny’s role become apparent. Your good success and satisfying life are meant to compel others to look to Heaven, prompting them to ask, think, and imagine as well.

This is important because most people believe they have to come up with the resources so they never bother to start a plan. Destiny says, “Stop trying to fulfill what’s my responsibility! Start to plan! Start to ask, think, and imagine.”

Give Destiny a plan and you give Destiny something to work for. Attract the resources of Heaven by starting to plan.

Your plan is Destiny’s showcase of Heaven’s splendor.

As the One who authored your purpose in life, Destiny gives you the resources necessary to fulfill your purpose. Your thoughts are Destiny’s plan.

Release the wealth of Heaven into your life by asking, thinking, and imagining. Plan to see your vision come to pass without needing to know how. When you assume this posture of faith, you honor the One who authored your thoughts, inviting credit to go where credit is due.

Now, tell me again, Who’s going to control the next 12 months of your life?

How To Live A Life Of Purpose & Meaning

How To Live A Life Of Purpose & Meaning

This is the continuation of a short series on Planning.

Planning is the management of that dynamic distance between your birth and your death. That distance varies for everyone. Still, the intended impact of each and every individual is meant to be everlasting.

This begs the question, How can I ensure that my eternal contribution to history an humanity is worthwhile?

The simple answer is, plan. Planning is simply applying purpose to time.

No matter what, Time will persist. Time is always present. Even after you expire, Time will carry on.

Planning is giving purpose and meaning to the portion of time entrusted to you. Does this sound easier said than done?

The truth is, you’re already doing it to some extent. For instance, have you ever made a grocery list for your trip to the supermarket? In doing so, you’ve documented a preconceived determination of how your time in the supermarket will be used.

Have you ever designed an itinerary for your travels? If so, then you’ve documented a preconceived determination of how your time traveling will be used.

Planning is your documentation of your preconceived determination of how your time will be used.

Time will come. Time always comes. However, when you put your plan to paper you make a declaration of how that time will be used as opposed to allowing Time to tell you what to do.

Without a plan, we can easily be persuaded to squander or waster our time. Without a plan, pointless conversations trail on. Without a plan, the route to our destination acquires pointless stops and detours.

To plan is to allow your clear sense of purpose to give meaning to unused time. You have a purpose and vision. You’re going somewhere. It makes sense, then, for you to harness and leverage time.

Let’s consider tomorrow. What will you do do with tomorrow? It’s unused at the moment. You’re not there yet. So, what are you gong to do with the 24 hours that begin at 12:01 tonight? Have you determined what that 24 hours will do in relation to your purpose?

Let’s reconsider our question from earlier, How can I ensure that my eternal contribution to history an humanity is worthwhile? Simple. Every day, plan at least one thing that will move you toward your purpose in life, your vision for the future. Maybe it’s a phone call that needs to be made or an email that needs to be written. Perhaps its a conversation with someone who has pertinent information. Whatever it is, let your time be determined by your purpose.

Time was designed to be our tool and resource. But for some of us, it’s become our dictator. Put Time in it’s place. It’s time you told Time how it’s going to be used and how it’s going to serve your purpose.

Harness the time that you have to draw you closer to your desired destination.

How do you plan to use today to move you closer to a life of purpose? exists to see you set free to be your truest selves, to live out their destiny. We believe that every woman possesses a unique gift and calling intended to enrich the world. Similar to our fingerprints, the intended impact of each and every woman is unlike any other. When a woman encounters the freedom to live profitably, while also living authentically, the entire world benefits..

How Much Are You Worth?

How Much Are You Worth?

How much is this worth?

Thats right, $100…

Now, how much is it worth?

Yes, even after being crumpled up it’s still worth $100…

How about now, how much is it worth?

That’s right, it’s still worth $100.

How about you, how much are you worth?

Do you recognize your worth as inherent and unalterable?

Life experience often crumple us up. Tragedy rips us in two. And, as a result, we feel less than.

Experience tells us that our missteps, mistakes, and mistreatment devalues us and we often agree.

How is it that we permit trashed paper to retain it’s assigned value, when we don’t extend that same courtesy to ourselves?

When we acquiesce to the flawed valuations of others, we resign ourselves to a lesser life, to a life of mediocrity and commonness.

You are not common.

Inside of you is a gift to history and humanity. Destiny has purposed to do extraordinary things through you.

Your only task in life is to agree with Destiny’s high estimation of you and, subsequently, submit to the high calling placed on your life. It’s a calling of great joy and good success.

The life you’re meant to live is a good one, designed to honor you as a priceless product of heaven.

How might your life change if you chose to honor Destiny’s valuation of you irrespective of your missteps, mistakes, and mistreatment?

We honor the assigned value of paper. How much more ought we honor Destiny’s assigned value of ourselves?

Today, let your actions and words be in line with who you truly are as Destiny’s priceless design.

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